Dec 14, 2017



By Nellie Nutting

I am a Gemini.  According to, “Gemini is the third sign of the zodiac, and those born under this sign (between May 21st and June 21st) will be quick to tell you all about it. That's because they love to talk!”  Although that does, at times, describe me, like most people I have another side – a greyer, more reserved and unenthusiastic side as well.  Because of my astrology sign as a twin – I have an excuse for being this way, right?? So what is everyone else’s excuse?? 

This leads me to my topic – ENERGY: Positive and negative.  

All of us have an invisible space surrounding us.  It goes out about 6 feet from our bodies and it’s filled with energy. When my confidence is high and I feel great, I draw people into my space with positive energy.  I smile. I start conversations. I gesture – my posture is open and others feel secure becoming a part of my “circle”.  But then I have those days that I might not feel well, or have a lack of confidence.  Most of you can relate – I am just not feeling “pretty” – inside or out.  On these days my invisible energy field repels others. It’s negative.  I do not make eye contact and keep my expression stoic.  My arms are crossed or my hands are in my pockets – my body language screams, “STAY AWAY OR YOU MIGHT GET EATEN ALIVE!!”   This type of energy is a killer in a networking situation. If we are self - aware at all, we know exactly which “twin” is presenting at any given time.  The good news is we can also silence the unwanted persona as we are responsible, thinking creatures! 

If you arrive at your next network event feeling like the “ugly” twin, you best consider going home or sending her away.  You will not be giving off your best first impression and, in fact, might well scare a few people from your business as opposed to drawing them in.  So how do we put all that negative energy away as quickly as possible in order to build those relationships our business needs? 

I have found the quickest way to shake off the rough edge is to stop focusing on myself and start focusing on others.  Specifically, I ask myself how I can help someone else at this moment.  Could I offer to get someone a water or coffee?  Could I tidy the environment – straighten chairs or tables, replenish paper products, place handouts?  Who in the room looks like they could use a partner?  Perhaps they are new and alone.  I remind myself when I do happen into conversation to keep the topics about them as opposed to me – I am working to release my negative energy – not spread it to others. If this doesn’t help, I go into the bathroom or another private area and literally “shake it off”.  Movement – shaking, dancing, or jumping – although it looks silly if you are caught in the act – can totally change your mood to one that is more appropriate for making friends.

So, if you see me in a big box store with a hoodie, dark glasses and my purse clutched tightly to my body, please run – the ugly twin is out for her brief walk through town and she is not interested in chatting. Hopefully you won’t be seeing her soon – I try to keep her locked up J